Lobster Mascot Costume B002SFF1HW

Lobster Mascot Costume - 4.5 out of 5 stars from 4 customer reviews


Definitely worth $1,700
I know what you're thinking. Seventeen Benjamins is a bit much for a lobster costume that looks this goofy, not matter how sturdy it is. Think of all the other things you could buy with $1,700. Think of all the starving children you could feed. Think of all the furniture and bills you'll be paying for instead of feeding children with that $1,700.

Now think about just how goofy-looking this costume is. I bought it as a prop so I could faithfully recreate every sketch of the Nickelodeon series "The Amanda Show", because that is just something I happen to be doing and want to spend a lot of money on, shut up about it. Only after purchasing it did I realize that this costume is too goofy even for those purposes. Plus the big eyes scared all the kidnapped actors too much for them to perform well. It was a complete screw-up. This costume WILL ruin any project you try to use it for, trust me.

However, there's a good reason it costs that much money. You see, I was...

Don't Go to Red Lobster Wearing This
Since I was mistakenly born into a human body, but am actually a lobster ("trans-crustacean"), I knew this item would complete me. $1,699 is much less than the shell-grafting I had been looking into, so I thought I'd try this out. I thought the non-realistic googly eyes would help me bond with my clients (kind of like a live Disney cartoon?). The response from my clients and judges (I am a lawyer) has been less than what I had hoped, though. I hope that when I appear at my contempt of court hearing, the judge will understand once I burst into "Under the Sea." It's my theme song.

Cons: It hasn't brought me the sense of total immersion I'd hoped for, as I can't actually swim while wearing this costume. I sank to the bottom of the community swimming pool and was fished to the top by large nets. Apparently the sodden outfit was too much for the puny lifeguard to lift on his own.

Pros: I was fished out of the water in nets! Just like a natural lobster!

Two...

I never knew how much this could change my life!
It's just... amazing. I can't stop wearing it (my coworkers are trying to get rid of me because of the B.O. stink!) I do agree with the other reviewer, I tried going to Red Lobster in it (one of my favorite chain restaurants) and people started to stab me with knives, and become lobster-zombie things, but thankfully, with this amazing costume, I had a thick, protective layer of my true form. The best thing about this outfit is that I can swim underwater while wearing nothing but a thong underneath! I'm kind of broke (because of the costume) so I haven't had food in about a month, but the costume leaves me alive with stuffing to gnaw on. Another thing about it was that I went to 10 comic-cons in this thing! Everyone thinks I'm an anime character, but they'll never know! Good day!

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